Underwhelmed in 2012

With reports that the Obama fundraising machine has its sights on $1billion for the 2012 election cycle (yes, that’s a “b”), the Republicans up till now have seemed reluctant to throw their hats in the ring. But nominations are slowly trickling in, and the election is looking to be, well, boring.

In the United States, a potential candidate for a party must get the nomination, and usually, prepping a candidate for nomination requires several years of name dropping, formulaic partisan policy adoption, and high profile speeches. Not this year for Republicans. This waiting game is unusual, and can probably be explained by a combination of the economy on micro and macro scales, the butt-whoopin’ the Republicans took in 2008, and the Tea Party phenomenon. Perhaps added to that is the realization that Republicans have screwed up big time—cutting the budget to drastically harm entitlements and education while stubbornly refusing to raise taxes on the rich or make serious cuts in other parts of the budget. Americans might not be as smart as a 5th grader, but we learned to count in kindergarten.

While President Obama has tried to keep his voter base together at the expense of the rest of the world, Republicans have given their token shout-outs. Obama’s May speech, for example, resulted in the usual “you’ve thrown Israel under the bus again” for the simple suggestion that latest Israel-Palestine negotiations begin at the 1967 borders. Now, everyone knows that there is no way Israel would have accepted that negotiation starting point. Everybody also knows that Obama’s suggesting such was an insincere attempt to appear to be a neutral peacemaker. Yet Republicans don’t want to let go of the AIPAC dollars, and so made the statements.
Who are today’s Republican contenders? Here are a few—mostly recycled from past election seasons:

Michelle Bachmann: This Congresswoman is a Tea Party favorite whose grasp on American history and the Constitution is, umm, loose. High school student Amy Myers challenged Bachmann to a “fact check” debate on American civics and the Constitution, stating her cause for concern over Bachmann misstatements:
“As one of a handful of women in Congress, you hold a distinct privilege and responsibility to better represent your gender nationally. The statements you make help to serve an injustice to not only the position of Congresswoman, but women everywhere. Though politically expedient, incorrect comments cast a shadow on your person and by unfortunate proxy, both your supporters and detractors alike often generalize this shadow to women as a whole.”
(I am seriously impressed with that young lady. I hope politics don’t ruin her.)

Update: Bachmann is enjoying an early start as her soundbites are coming off as attractive to primary-type Republicans. I don't expect that to last too long, but at the time of this writing, she's about neck-and-neck with Mitt Romney.

Newt Gingrich: Ex-Congressman Gingrich is probably the most factual of the Republican bunch. I don’t care for him much—he’s a womanizer and a hypocrite, but he’s the one I like best so far.

Update: He's out, but just doesn't know it yet, I think.

Mitt Romney: Former Governor Romney is vanilla. Just plain vanilla. Everyone can agree on vanilla, even if it’s not anyone’s favorite.

Update: Still vanilla.

Donald Trump: He’s not running, but he’s fun to talk about. He ranted on about the Middle East overcharging for oil, and taking back the American economy from China. His pro-birther campaign lost him any semblance of credibility—he actually stated that he was proud of himself for forcing Obama to obtain and show his “long” birth certificate from Hawaii. I predict that his reality show won’t last too much longer. Well, that’s more of a hope than an actual prediction.

Update: Does anyone care?

Tim Pawlenty: Two-term governor of Minnesota, Pawlenty’s goal is to out-vanilla Romney. If he can convince Evangelical America that he is a better alternative than the Mormon Romney and will appeal to the center, he may just have a chance.

Update: Predictably, and like everyone else, taking swipes at Obama.

Sarah Palin: No one’s really sure what Palin is doing these days, including Palin. She is currently taking a tour of the country on bus. The bus, decorated with Palin’s name and patriotic images, has hit the political circuit without a statement of intent except having a nice vacation. She reportedly will not speak to the “lamestream media” because it would affect her contract with Fox News. This is a no-news situation, but of course, the lamestream media that Palin so loves to bash, is eating it up. May Allah help us.

Update: I'm still not sure what's going on with her, and neither is she.

New mentions: John Huntsman (ex-governor of Utah), Rick Perry, (governor of Texas), Hermain Cain (corporate officer and business leader), Ron Paul (Congressman). Hmm. There's another guy out of Pennsylvania, but I can't remember his name and I don't think he's all too important.

I reiterate, complain all you want about Obama, but I still see no better alternative.

What's to Celebrate?

Bubba came over the other day all giddy and excited. He had heard the news about Osama bin Laden and spent the night partying and whooping it up in the streets of New York. Not wanting to deal with his drama, I was going to brush him off. But since he showered, shaved, and brushed his teeth for my benefit, I graced him with a few moments of my presence.

“Hi Debora! Didja hear the news?” We’re not talking about the myth of global warming or The Donald’s “Grand Accomplishment,” are we?

“No, of course not, but we can discuss those later. I’m talking about Osama bin Laden.” What about him?

“Well, he’s dead.” I’ve heard. So what can I do for you today?

“I was just wondering what you think about it.” You first, Bubba. What do you think? But softly, please. I have a migraine.

“I’m so sorry to hear it, Debora, but you should take an aspirin and celebrate with me and the rest of the country. That SOB is sleeping with the fishes and now we’re vindicated!” Okay then, does this mean that people can stop dying now?

“What are you talking about?” Uh, have you forgotten that there are still two wars going on?

“Yeah, I did forget for a little bit. But you can at least pretend that you’re happy, can’t you? Because you’re acting like you hate this country!” No, Bubba, I don’t hate my country. I appreciate the fact that this act will bring closure to a lot of people, but not everyone. The killing won’t stop, and the 9-11 survivors won’t get their loved ones back. And, predictably, al Qaeda is making plans for retaliation.

“But—" No talking, Bubba. I’m not done. There have been disasters all over the world lately. Tornados. Earthquakes. Tsunamis. Nuclear accidents. The oil spill. Peaceful protestors slaughtered. Innocent people sitting on death row. Institutionalized rape. AIDS orphans. Still no peace in the Middle East. A large portion of the world has no clean water, let alone food to eat or prenatal care—

“Maybe you need something a little stronger than an aspirin. How about a quaalude cocktail?” Not finished! All the terrible news in the world, Bubba, that we, as a nation, seem to care too little about. Then we hear, from conflicting reports, about this unarmed man, and others, being sniped. A man that we have every reason to hate, granted. But BAM! No trying to take him peacefully, no due process… If that had happened inside our country to white people, the uproar would be deafening. Yet what do we do? Dance in the street? Congratulate the president? Shake each others’ hands? Is this what we’re teaching our children is appropriate behavior?

“But he’s Osama-bin-flipping-Laden! He killed thousands of people! I really don’t see what the problem is!” And that’s the problem, Bubba. No one sees it. No one understands that dancing in the street about a dead man is insane.

“Speaking of insane.” Call me crazy, Bubba, but remember I was the first one to tell you that going into Iraq was not only wrong, but bad for this country, long before it showed itself to be a bottomless pit.

“Yeah, you did.” You called me Psycho Witch and questioned my intelligence, my patriotism, and my belief in God.

“But not in that order…” True enough, sir. You know, we’ve wasted too much time talking about this dead man. Tell you what. I’ll let the potential for a conspiracy theory in this case lie, and you admit that partying in the streets was probably not the appropriate reaction to OBL’s getting whacked. Then let’s walk away from this topic.

“Maybe you’re right, just a little.” Maybe you are too, just a little.

Strawberry Bread--C'est si Bon!

Laila and I went strawberry picking at one of the local farms last weekend, and all I could think of was strawberry bread. Alhamdulillah, this is one yummy recipe, and while it does require so many smooshy berries, it is worth making once a year-- not only for the tasty goodness, but also for the "teach my daughter how to bake a loaf so she doesn't think her mama is completely useless in the kitchen" benefit of it.

My mother thinks the recipe is "too wet," but I disagree. The berries within can be liquidy in their respective pockets, but they set as the bread cools. I suggest removing a few of the berries from the recipe if you have a gas oven, add a little more flour, or just bake a little longer.

STRAWBERRY BREAD 2 loaves

3 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 Tablespoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups sugar
3 eggs, slightly beaten
1 1/4 cups vegetable oil
3 cups fresh or frozen strawberries, mashed
1 cup chopped nuts

Instructions

1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2) Grease two loaf pans
3) Combine all dry ingredients in a large bowl, and mix well
4) Make a well in the flour mixture, and add the rest of the ingredients; mix until just moistened
5) Pour into loaf pans, sprinkle with cinnamon-sugar
6) Bake one hour until done

("Done" = testing with a toothpick. When a toothpick comes out without liquid batter on it, or "clean," then the loaves are baked)
Tip: Freeze your fresh strawberries before making this recipe. Thawed strawberries are very easy to mash.

See You Next Month, Insha Allah

The March earthquake and tsunami in Japan killed thousands, and only time will tell how many will suffer and die due to the ongoing nuclear disaster. In recent history, there have been so many earthquakes, floods, and manmade disasters affecting the entire world in one way or the other. All things being equal, I feel rather fortunate to be alive.

We are told in the Quran that we will be tested, and the Japanese have been run through the wringer. They have by all accounts been graceful, good citizens, and there are no braver folk than the ones working to keep the nuclear disaster within the zone of least possible harm. Most of us can take a lesson in stoicism, if not wisdom, from the Japanese woman currently living in a homeless shelter because, even though she has grown children, she does not want to burden them with her needs.
For all the acts of bravery, selflessness, survival and death, a Muslim has to hope that the brave Japanese, and all victims of disaster, have a spiritual back-up plan. We all will die sooner or later.

(Even if science suggests that cryonics is a viable bridge between today and future life extension, a corpse has no control over his environment and no guarantee of physical safety. Consider the claim of author Larry Johnson, a former executive at cryonics storage facility in Arizona, that baseball great Ted Williams’ frozen head was used for batting practice by the facility’s employees.)

This week, the United States has been hit with a wall of tornadoes moving across the country from the Midwest to the East Coast. Many of those tornadoes landed in my neck of the woods, and on my birthday, no less. While I did make sure to spend time on the porch making dua in the beautiful storms, I considered that there would be a trailer park in danger somewhere (they always hit the trailer parks) and that some people would likely die in North Carolina and Virginia, as tornado victims had further west.

Relatively speaking, the storms and tornadoes resulted in few deaths, subhan Allah wa alhamdulillah. Trailers had indeed been hit, and a tornado touched down in downtown Raleigh. But a Lowes home improvement megastore was destroyed, and not one person within on this busy Saturday was killed.

While my beautiful little girl made sure her daddy bought flowers and planned cake and ice cream for me (but mostly for her), I contemplated the ayats from the Quran that state that no one knows when he will die or what the next day holds. Like countless times before, I have come to the same conclusion: we cannot know why Allah does what He does, we must simply roll with it. We are the Submitters, after all.

Leaving Half a Country Behind

During my first trip to Egypt, I decided that the country had an inferiority complex. Fair or not, PC or not, my conclusion was based upon the stark differences between how Egyptians treat each other and how Egyptians treat foreigners. One afternoon, my sister-in-law and I were in a restaurant in a business district in Cairo, where we were ignored by the servers. I finally flagged down a waiter and said, “fee eh?” with a terrible American accent. He apologized profusely, stating in Arabic that he thought I was from Tanta (which apparently is Egyptian for “ghetto”). When my sister-in-law politely told him that I was American, the man blushed, perhaps realizing that his tip had flown out the window. My sister-in-law remained polite despite the fact that her hometown is a close-by mini version of Tanta. Offended by the waiter’s blatant bigotry, I asked why it mattered whether I’m from Tanta or the US or China—aren’t I a human being?

While I was in Egypt I also came to the conclusion that Egyptian women were the most patient people on the planet. Alhamdulillah, patience is rewarded in the hereafter, even if it is not today. The needs of Egyptian women follow their husbands’ and their children’s. If there is nothing left after their families are taken care of, Egyptian women just do without. Very noble, these women.

For the purpose of this short article, I will not go into the abuses, discrimination, and annoyances that women have to put up with every day in Egypt, except to state that these acts are theorized to be the result of men’s frustration with life outside the home, and that men on a large scale would regularly be imprisoned (or successfully sued) for their treatment of their spouses, their daughters, and strange women on the street were they to act like this anywhere in the West.

Alhamdulillah, the revolution brought out the best in Egyptian society, with very few negative elements. But revolutions, unfortunately, tend to disregard the value and relevance of women’s participation in society and politics, let alone the revolutions. Case in point: this revolution’s protests were strongly supported by women, yet the committee tasked with drafting the new Egyptian constitution includes not one.

This passionate revolution included men and women, and amazing to me, so did the post-revolution cleanup. Let’s remember as time passes that women are not the only ones that should use a broom, and that men are not the only ones who should participate in this new democratic society, insha Allah.
And while we’re establishing the new society, let’s leave the hijab debate out of it.

In honor of spring...

Black coffee no help
Much work to do, no desire
Inchworm distracts me

A Lesson in Elegance

I was in transition. I lost my job, made the decision to divorce my husband, and could not wait to leave the state where I'd lived for years and so hated. Strangely enough, I was not unhappy with my predicament. The decision to leave my husband, who was by most standards a catch, and someone who had always treated me with utmost deference and respect was painful, but it was something I had to do. The decision to leave the job was made for me, and was in retrospect a blessing.

So despite the upheaval, the world, I thought, was a very good place. I met my husband-to-be and was happy about that. As we discussed the future, he brought up religion. Religion had never been a particularly strong part of my life, nor did it seem to be for him. I told him that I was a Christian because that's how I was raised; specifically, I was a Catholic. Like many other religions, Catholicism taught that non-Catholics were going to hell. I always had a problem with that. I always had a problem with a lot of things in Christianity and Catholicism, but never really thought through as to why. So when Ahmed told me that he was a Muslim, and it didn't matter what, he would never become a Christian, I shrugged my shoulders and said “okay.” I was confused as to how he could think I would spend any energy trying to convert him to Christianity when I never prayed or attended church myself, and in fact hated every church into which I ever set foot.

During that conversation, Ahmed told me that I should learn about Islam and that I should get a book to read about it. (This was before the internet, obviously.) He made it clear that he would never make me convert to Islam, but adopting Islam had to come from the heart. I shrugged my shoulders again. Like he could force me to do anything I didn’t want to do. Snort. As if.

So taking his advice to heart, I journeyed to a bookstore and found two books on Islam. One book was written by a brother whose heart seemed to be in the right place, yet I found the book to be quite sexist. Despite that, I was not turned off by Islam and in fact the brother, Allah bless him, made several decent arguments for Islam. Not convinced however, I turned to the second book, which was the Quran.

I found the Quran amazing. It was majestic. It was authoritative. It was scientific. It was insightful. It understood individuals and humanity in a way that no one did. It fleshed out those reasons why people intuitively believe that there is a God. It filled in those many puzzle pieces that had been missing in Christianity, in the Bible, and in my life worldview.

Perhaps the most fascinating thing, I found Islam is not apologetic, as many religions are. For this American who was raised a Christian, and having been exposed to dozens of Christian sects, all of which had tried to get me in their clutches, Islam came as a breath of fresh air. There is a reason that Christianity is broken up into as many sects as it is. It has to appeal to so many people, yet it is based on assertions that simply don't make sense. So it is quite capable of further misshape in order to fit the people whom it wants to attract.

Islam on the other hand, makes sense and is perfect as is, and warns us not to warp it. There is one God. His name is Allah. He is the God of Moses, Abraham, Jesus, and Adam. He is the God of the Jews. He is the God of the Christians. He is the Lord of the World. There is no God but God. He has no use for a son. He has no reason, nor an inability, to walk the earth as a man. He created the earth and everything on it, and the rest of the universe. Devising a rival of Allah that could in any way match him, whether dressed as Shaitan, a stone idol, or Jesus, peace upon him, is plain foolishness and a waste of time and energy.

La ilaha il Allah.

I knew I was a Muslim after I read the Quran once. Years later, I came to realize that I really never was a Christian.

My future husband told me, incredulously, “No one can become a Muslim after reading the Quran one time."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, that's what I am."

“But there's more to being a Muslim than reading the Quran once or twice.”

Of course there is.


Did you ever walk into a furniture store for no particular purpose, and you see the perfect couch? You didn't know you needed the couch, but once you saw it, you knew that it was perfect for your living room.

Okay, maybe you can draw your own analogy. Then magnify its importance infinitely. I knew upon reading the Quran that Islam was what I was missing all my life, though I did not know it until then. The pieces clicked. Simple and perfect. Like an elegant math proof.

I like to tell myself that reading the Quran converted me to Islam, but that is not entirely correct. The thing is, I would have never considered reading the Quran, reading a book on Islam, let alone converting to Islam if the one Muslim I knew pretty well was a jerk. I held no preconceptions about Islam. The Muslims I'd met throughout my life were nice people. Palestine was about land, not religion. Israel and Egypt was about Israelis and Egyptians, not Judaism and Islam. Had I understood that “Muslims” could run airplanes into buildings, and murder people and then call it Islam, I would have been unable to look at Islam objectively, astaghfurallah.

My model however, was my extraordinarily handsome future husband who is kind, sweet, easy-going, patient, and funny, as well as deferential to his mother (always a plus when being sized up for future use). It turns out that Allah gave me just what I needed, when I needed it. Alhamdulillah.

People convert to Islam by so many avenues. Some are searching; I was not. Some are pious; I was not. One conversion scenario will not fit all, which is the beauty of Islam. If I were to be forced to attend a masjid, forced to become a Muslim, forced to study Islam, for example, I would certainly turn around and run as fast as my legs could carry me, screaming. Allah, in His wisdom, instead let me catch Islam in my two hands as it floated through my arms in front of me. What more beautiful way to become a Muslim than that?